I saw a meme going around today claiming that adult children always taking permission from your parents before going anywhere is a sign of respect and obedience, and not of “being afraid.” ⁣

Naturally, I disagree. I grew up in an “obedient” Indian family myself, and we’re finally starting to see it doesn’t have to be this way.⁣

Living our own lives our way isn’t about disrespecting their idea of us or sidestepping their values in the name of rebellion. Au contraire, it’s honoring their beautiful parenting that worked so well as to raise healthy and independent human beings who they trust can now think and stand up for themselves. That’s the best compliment you could give a parent imo.⁣

There is a similar Telugu saying: “భక్తితో కూడిన భయం”/”Bhaktitho kudina bhayam” which means “the fear that stems from devotion.” Naturally, I disagree with this too. With true devotion comes courage. If it’s producing fear, that’s trauma. It’s just disguised as obedience, but just as dangerous.⁣

Control breeds obedience but also fear. Love breeds respectand also more love.⁣

What naturally starts as obedience is actually protection, and it’s meant to fall away when the parent of any child (human or not) sees it can fend for itself. It’s nature. Else, birds wouldn’t fly and trees would evolve to go chase after where their seeds went.⁣

Love wins. ❤️⁣